Archive for December, 2007
Lemon juice
Once there was a bartender who claimed he was the strongest man on earth, he could squeeze every drop of juice out of a lemon and he bet $10,000 that no one could squeeze anymore out of a lemon he has squeezed
People came in from all over the country, body builders, weight lifters, wrestlers, or [...]
Lasting marriage
A couple in their nineties were asked how their marriage lasted for 75+ years.
The wife explained that on their wedding day after the marriage they left the church and headed home in their horse-drawn carriage.
Before they even left the church the horse stumbled. My husband got out of the carriage and severely hit the horse [...]
Clothing bill
George met up with the guys at a local bar and proceeded to get shitfaced. After about three hours of guzzling liquor, George threw up all over his shirt.
“Shit!” he said. “The old lady is going to throw my ass out of the house for getting drunk and puking on my new shirt!”
Bill, George’s best [...]
Mozart beyond the grave
When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his [...]
Skin sransplant surgery
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor [...]
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Two black eyes
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man said, “I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me [...]
Brokeback baby
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together, and then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely.
A nurse [...]
The atheist and the shark
There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of the sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he starts swimming towards his boat.
As he looks back he sees the shark turn and head towards him. His boat is a ways off and he starts swimming like crazy. He’s scared to death, and [...]
Sorry, I’m blonde!
Two female blond cops were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn’t.
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously,
“Hurry up! It’s starting to [...]
Love Quiz & Tests
Are you a good kisser?
From cheek to lips… how do you rate on the kissing scale?
What Style of Kisser Are You?
Are you a peck, light kiss, french, or more…? Take this kissing quiz and discover what your kissing style!
What’s Your Flirting Style?
Are you a winking wonder or a flirting folly? Take the quiz and discover [...]
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